Love

Because you love me, I promise to love myself
Because I love you, I promise to love myself
I love myself because I am strong alone
And stronger when I'm not
And strongest still when all people stand together
Because I love myself, I am able to love
Because I love myself, I allow myself to be loved
There are feelings stirring within my heart
The memory of loss and sorrow and bitterness
Carved upon my heart and my flesh
See me through the hardest parts
And forgive me for moving past the pain
If I am able to do so at all
It's all because I will always love you
And, more than that, because you love me


those are some of the pets I've lost recently. For me, my pets are extremely important. I can relate to animals far better than people, and in any case, when I was upset (especially as a teenager), my animals were the only ones to console me. Once, when I was 13, I'd gotten into a fight with my mom, and I was highly upset. I sat in the backyard with my schoolwork and cried. My dog Takato came and sat in my lap like he always does, licking my face. An important paper blew away in the wind. Toby, my other dog, ran off to play with the paper, but submissive Takato jumped up, growled at alpha Toby, grabbed the paper by the tiniest corner in his mouth and politely brought it back to me.

That was over 7 years ago, now, and I've grown a lot. I've lost all my childhood pets except for the dogs, Toby and Takato. I truly believe that I would not be the person I am today without Pickle's constant affection, tolerance, and dependence, Miss Kitty's grumpiness and possessiveness, Spookie's snotty attitude and cuddliness, Lain's sweet'n'sweetness, or any of the others' natural quirks. For sure, I may not even be alive if not for the dog I had as a small child -when I was a very small baby, my mom and the dog (Harry) were on a walk in the park when some strays came up aggressively. Now, you must understand about Harry: he was the sweetest dog in the world, not a mean bone in his big body. But when those dogs went to get me, my mom dropped the leash and he jumped in between us. How can this deep love not affect me as a person?

Even though these pieces of my heart have passed on, these precious friends have died, it doesn't mean they're gone or forgotten by any means. I thank God that I was able to love so deeply and be so deeply loved, no matter the length of time. Even in death, these lovely friends never resented or shunned me. I have new pets that will never replace the old ones, new friends with their own ridiculous personalities, who need me. I still love all my pets, and adore reminiscing about them. But I am still alive, and I still have a lot of things to learn, and a lot of love to give, and there are so many animals in need of love. So, with the blessings of the past, I step forward unwavering into a bright future undoubtedly filled with love.